You know how you get excited when you get a new book, and once you start reading…everything is new, until you understand the plot and suddenly it feels like you’ve read that book before…similar plot, and perhaps similar ending? Well, that’s how it feels with me.
I thought with this new founded way of trying to get better would work. Because, with my insurance, getting ED help is next to impossible and the length of time needed would never be covered, nor accepted. Especially, with the type of coverage I have and being from Texas and it’s tight-ass rules.
Here I am, trying this new thing…and these wonderful people whom I’ve grown to love are starting to fully grasp the understanding of what my world is like. Now, knowing what they know now, they are shaking in their boots. I know they care. And, I know they want to help. But, when it comes down to it… I think it’s more than they’re accustomed to, used to.
I feel like, I’m about to turn the page and find out I am alone again. It happened with Anna, she wanted to help…but, then again, she wasn’t that completely honest with me about her OWN health either. I know these people are much stronger than Anna, so I don’t have to worry about that aspect. But, it’s what Anna did that I am afraid these people would do.
As I said, I feel like I’m fixing to turn the page and find out that I am alone again, sure they’ll still be there (like Anna is, well she sort of is…not nearly as much anymore *health issues and all*)…but, it won’t be the same.
I think I may need go back and just do what I have been doing on my own using my own facebook, and post pics and back to what I’m most comfortable with that will prevent no purging…and more.
This is why I try not to have hope, because this is what happens. New book…same old story line.